The 2009 Michael Kay/YES Network Drinking Game

Love or hate Michael Kay, he is here to stay. After years of listening to him, both on television and the radio, I have noticed some of Kay’s favorite sayings and actions from the booth. I call these “Michael Kay clichés,” or “Kaychés.”

The 2008 Michael Kay/YES Network Drinking Game is still one of Scott Proctor’s Arm’s most popular posts. In response, I have made an updated version for this season. I hope you enjoy it and please drink responsibly should you decide to play along. I take no responsibility for you or your actions as a result of playing this game. And no, I don’t really expect you to take 22 drinks if Kay says, “Deuces wild.”

• Kay shamelessly plugs his ESPN radio show – 1 drink / Take additional drink if he says the time of day it’s on
• Kay screams, “See ya!,” “there it goes,” and/or “looking up” – 1 drink / If he says all three in the same call, finish drink.
• Kay says, “Fallacy of the predetermined outcome” – 1 drink
• Kay laughs like a maniacal moron, and then is joined by the others in the booth – 1 drink
• Kay says, “Put a bow on it” – 1 drink
• Kay says, “We’ll make sense of it all” – 1 drink
• Kay gets on his soapbox – 1 drink
• Kay says, “We thank you for joining us” – 1 drink
• Kay says, “If you’re just joining us” – 1 drink
• Kay says, “The crowd is still buzzing” a few minutes after something big happens in the game – 1 drink
• Kay asks if the batter should get the green light on a 3-0 count – 1 drink
• Viewer notices that the YES cameras cut off the top of Kay's head during a booth shot – 1 drink
• Kay talks about baseball strategy, and is probably incorrect – 1 drink
• Kay uses a word you have to look up in the dictionary – 1 drink
• Kay says, “Hey!” (i.e. “Hey, Yankee fans!” or “Hey, check out…”) – 1 drink
• Kay says, “Who but?” – 1 drink
• Kay says, “Tough league” when a pitcher throws a changeup or breaking ball when down in the count – 1 drink
• Kay says, “If it’s fair, it’s gone/trouble/a base hit/etc.” – 1 drink
• Kay talks about how Nick Swisher always has a full count on him – 1 drink
• Kay says, “Lineups, first pitch, BASEBALL!” – 1 drink
• “Jeterian” or “Jeteresque” is said by anyone in the booth – 1 drink
• Food is mentioned by any of the announcers – 1 drink / If Kay gets made fun of because of his weight, take an additional drink and eat a slice of pizza
• Kay refers to a ball as “driven,” “laced” or “served” – 1 drink / Take 2 drinks if it’s a different verb
• There is awkward silence in the booth – 1 drink
• Kay says, “Big healthy cut” – 1 drink / Take an additional drink if the “big” is emphasized
• Kay says, “Works into, and out of, trouble” – 1 drink
• Kay says that Melky Cabrera was the last Yankee to hit for the cycle – 1 drink / Take an additional 2 drinks if Kay says anything about Tony Fernandez
  
  
• Kay talks about a starting pitcher’s pitch count before the third inning – 2 drinks
• Kay says, “Pretty play” or “Oh, what a play!” – 2 drinks
• Kay refers to a player by his full name (i.e. “Andrew Eugene Pettitte,” “Derek Sanderson Jeter,” “Carsten Charles Sabathia,” etc.) – 2 drinks
• Kay says, “People forget,” assuming that Yankees fans don’t have good memories relating to something that could be perceived as common knowledge (i.e. "People forget Cody Ransom was actually the starting third baseman at the beginning of the year") – 2 drinks
• Paul O'Neill makes fun of Kay for having too many shows on YES – 2 drinks
• Kay says, “Aforementioned New York Yankees” – 2 drinks
• Kay says, “If you’re scoring at home” – 2 drinks
• Kay says, “On what would be the infield grass” when a pop up is caught in the short outfield in a domed stadium – 2 drinks
• Kay explains the benefits of the staggered lineup – 2 drinks
• Kay says a player is “like the little girl with the curl” – 2 drinks
• Kay says, “Let’s take this baby _th inning” – 2 drinks
• Kay asks, “Do the Yankees have a rally in their bones?” – 2 drinks
• Kay holds out the “he” in “he struck him out” (i.e. “Heeeeeeeeee struck him out”), the “goes” in “there it goes” (i.e. “There it goessssssss”) or the “see” in “see ya” (i.e. “Sssssseeeee ya”) – 2 drinks
• Kay uses his “Philthies” nickname for Phil Hughes and/or Phil Coke – 2 drinks / If he calls both of them “Philthy” in the same game, take an additional two drinks
• Kay screams, “Bonus cantos!” and/or “Free baseball!” when a game goes to extra innings – 2 drinks
  
  
• Kay refers to a past conversation he had and says, “He said” at least three times (Seriously, pay attention to this. He really does this all the time.) – 3 drinks
• Kay says, “He ties a record held by many” when a fielder records all three outs in an inning – 3 drinks
• Kay mentions Fordham University – 3 drinks / If John Flaherty mentions George Washington University in response, take an additional drink
• O’Neill’s “Seinfeld” cameo is brought up – 3 drinks
• Kay says, “That’s a fan for life” when a kid receives a foul ball – 3 drinks
• Kay says, “How many times do you see a player make a great play and then lead off the next inning?” or some variation of that – 3 drinks
• Kay apologizes in advance for messing up any strike calls when Tim McClelland is the home plate umpire – 3 drinks
  
  
• Kay says, “Looking up” after the ball has already reached the stands – Finish drink
• Kay asks his analysts a ridiculous question and is promptly debunked – Finish drink / Take an additional drink for each time he responds with a “don’t you think...” question
• Kay says, “Hit DEEP to left/right/center” and the ball is then caught well in front of the track – Chug a beer
• Kay says, “Deuces wild” – 22 drinks
• Kay isn't calling the game – Spray champagne
  

Again, please drink responsibly.

Thanks to my Twitter followers for their various suggestions.