"Now, what is this site about, how Joe Torre ruined pitchers' arms? Is that it?"
-Michael Kay, August 18, 2009

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Introducing: Smoking A-Rod

I'm proud to introduce the new mascot of the New York Yankees' 2008-09 off-season: Smoking A-Rod. There is no Santa Claus in Yankees Universe - it's obviously David Ortiz dressed in red trying to come down your chimney. Smoking A-Rod is the one you want to butter up.

Smoking A-Rod, shown smoking a cigar (most likely Cuban) in Punta Cana at David Ortiz's Celebrity Golf Classic, represents Yankees greed. You want CC Sabathia? Don't get on Smoking A-Rod's naughty list, especially with the word that the Red Sox are looking at him. Smoking A-Rod isn't loyal to the Yankees either, so be sure to keep him happy. We all saw him turn on the United States earlier this week, deciding to play for the Dominican Republic team. What's to stop him from letting a rival sign a previous target?

Remember when the Yankees signed Jaret Wright in 2005? We all knew it was a bad move when it happened, but someone (I'm not mentioning any names) decided it would be funny to get on Smoking A-Rod's bad side.

When you wake up in the morning, think of ways to make Smoking A-Rod happy if you want the Yankees to field the best team possible to win the 2009 World Series.

Because if Smoking A-Rod is happy, all Yankees fans are happy.

(Yes, finals week has made me go a little insane.)

Sipkin/News

6 comments:

She-Fan said...

I noticed the slight insanity in that post, Andrew. You're working too hard. :)

Andrew Fletcher said...

Haha, I sometimes let my imagination run wild. I figured I'd have a little fun.

Anonymous said...

Smoking..?? I see him holding a cigar...

Andrew Fletcher said...

Which implies that he's smoking it.

Anonymous said...

Or it implies he is holding it for someone else who was smoking it...

Andrew Fletcher said...

http://assets.nydailynews.com/img/2008/12/07/gal_ortiz-golf-1.jpg

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