A Yankee Festivus (2nd annual!)

Today is Dec. 23, better known as Festivus, the holiday for the rest of us. For those who don't know, Festivus was a holiday created by Seinfeld character Frank Costanza and appeared in the episode called "The Strike." Frank created this holiday in opposition of the commercialization of Christmas because he got into a fight with someone while looking for a female doll for George, his son.

"As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way."

For a more detailed look at the holiday, please click here.

I did A Yankee Festivus last year, and it was very successful. After the Yankees missed the playoffs this year, it's impossible not to do it again this year.

The first thing one thinks of when they think of Festivus is the pole, shown above. This, of course, replaces the Christmas tree. It's made out of aluminum, requires no decoration (Frank finds tinsel distracting) and has a very high strength-to-weight ratio.

Another aspect of the celebration is the Airing of Grievances. This is certainly the most fun part. I'll let Frank tell you how it works:

"At the Festivus dinner, you gather your family around and tell them all the ways they have disappointed you over the past year! ... I got a lot of problems with you people! And now you're gonna hear about it!"

Robinson Cano: I don't think it'd make sense if I didn't air out my grievances against you first. After signing a four-year, $30 million contract last off-season, you got off to a slow start and never recovered. You finished with a .271 batting average, well below your .306 average from 2007. You also hit five less home runs and drove in 25 less runs. You were even benched for not hustling. Don't make us regret our investment in you, Robinson. Go to your room.

Melky Cabrera: Jeez, where to begin with you. After hitting five home runs in April, you only hit three more the rest of the season. Your OBP barely cracked .300 and you were even demoted to Triple-A. You either will be traded or will begin the season in the minors again.

Derek Jeter: All of your offensive numbers were down from a year ago. Is age catching up to you? Prove us wrong next year.

Jorge Posada: You signed a huge deal last year and barely played. I know you got hurt and all, but your catching days could be over relatively soon. If you keep pronouncing that you are going to catch for the remainder of your contract, I think you are sorely mistaken.

Hideki Matsui: You have the knees of a 70-year-old. You've been great for us over the years, but you're clogging the roster at this point. It'll be nice if you can produce like old times next year, but I'm glad it's the last year of your contract.

Wilson Betemit: I'm glad you're finally gone.

Andy Pettitte: You have a 14-14 record with a 5.45 ERA and you still want to make $16 million? Are you out of your mind? You still give us innings and that's nice and all, but it's time for a reality check.

The so-called Big Three: You guys (Joba Chamberlain, Phil Hughes and Ian Kennedy) only combined for four wins last year - all four going to Joba - and each and every one of you spent time on the disabled list. You're all young and it's likely only one of you will begin the year in the rotation, but you all have to prove you can stay healthy and effective for the course of an entire year.

Darrell Rasner: Hope you like sushi.

Sidney Ponson: I can't believe you actually pitched 80 innings for us last year.

Kei Igawa: Four major-league innings this year for $4 million. Not a bad deal.

Kyle Farnsworth: Enjoy Kansas City.

Joe Girardi: You struggled in your first season as Yankees skipper. You got testy with the media and, at times, looked lost. The Yankees have invested a lot of money so far this off-season. If you miss the playoffs again, I'm afraid you'll be out of a job. You were my pick for manager last year...don't make me regret that.

Boy, that felt good to get off my chest!

During the Festivus dinner, there were two "Festivus miracles." Because they're miracles, you don't expect them, and thus are not an official part of Festivus. However, I can think of a few Festivus miracles.

• Signing CC Sabathia. We all heard the reports he wanted to pitch in California. It took a lot of convincing ($$$), but we got him and I think he'll be big (no pun intended) for us.
  
  
• The opening of the new Stadium. It was sad watching the last few games at the old Yankee Stadium, but Yankees fans are getting a beautiful new ballpark this year and I can't wait.

The Feats of Strength are the final part of the Festivus celebration. The head of household picks one person at the dinner to wrestle. The Festivus celebration is not over until the head of household is pinned.

"Let's rumble!"

For the purposes of this celebration, the Yankees being in the AL East is enough. The top two teams, the Boston Red Sox and Tampa Bay Rays, met in the ALCS last year. With the Yankees signing both Sabathia and A.J. Burnett (they're probably not done yet), the AL East looks even tougher this year. The Yankees have the pitching to compete, though their hitting can use a boost. It'll be a fun year of division play.

This concludes my Yankees Festivus celebration. Below is a YouTube clip of the Seinfeld celebration.

Last year, I celebrated Festivus with my roommates at college.

This is a picture of us preparing our pole. It's an old flagpole and I'm not sure if it's made out of aluminum, but it served its purpose. The man on the right is none other than Andrew Vazzano from The 'Ropolitans.

Getting the pole to stand up with help from the soda bottle was one of our Festivus miracles. The other Festivus miracle was that the pole didn't fall down during the Feats of Strength (pictured below). I was so happy that we actually had two unplanned Festivus miracles.

The beginning of the Feats of Strength. I'm fighting my roommate Dan (light hat) and Mike (Red Sox fan) is reffing.

During the Feats of Strength.

Fighting

More fighting

Even more fighting

Losing badly to Dan the former hockey player (this explains how we had hockey gloves)

And the gloves come off

Unfortunately, we forgot to celebrate it in our room this year. Silly us.

This really concludes my Festivus celebration. Have a Happy Festivus, Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, Joyous (?) Kwanzaa and Happy New Year!

This has been another great year of blogging for me. Thanks for continuing to read. I appreciate it very much.

And while we're at it, please check out the Mets "Metstivus" celebration at The 'Ropolitans (but it was my idea first). :)

Yankees hit with $26.9 million luxury tax bill

The Commissioner's office announced today that the Yankees will have to pay $26.9 million for exceeding the luxury tax threshold. A bad season just got worse.

The Tigers, the only other team that had to pay, only had to put forth $1.3 million.

On a happier note, today is Festivus! My second annual Festivus post will be up at 10 a.m. ET. In the meantime, check out what I did for Festivus last year.

A fun time will be had by all. I can promise you this year's post will be 10 times better than last year's, and I thought last year's was pretty good. That's good news for you.

Hello, Rob Neyer's readers

My stats (especially the Festivus post) are blowing up today, and they're all from Rob Neyer's blog.

I'm curious as to what he had to say. I'm not an Insider member and you guys obviously are.

Thanks,

Andrew

UPDATE - 5:05 p.m.: Mystery solved. Thank you.

A Yankee Festivus

Today is December 23, the official day of Festivus! For those who don't know, Festivus was created by Frank Costanza on Seinfield to oppose the commercialization of Christmas. For a more detailed look at Festivus, click here.

In honor of Festivus, I will have an abbreviated Yankees version of Festivus.

One of the major aspects of the Festivus celebration is the Airing of Grievances, a way to vent and talk about the ways everyone has disappointed you over the last year.

I've got a lot of problems with you people, and now you're gonna hear about it!

Joe Torre: Good riddance.

Hank Steinbrenner: Every time you open your mouth, you get closer and closer to tampering. Keep quiet and just sign the checks.

Brian Cashman: You have done a great job building up the minor-league system. However, your bullpen-building has always been questionable, and as of now, there is no one reliable after Mariano Rivera.

Chien-Ming Wang: The 19 games you won this year were great. However, you spit the bit in the playoffs in your two starts and cost the Yankees a chance at facing the Red Sox in the ALCS.

Mariano Rivera: In statistically the worst season of your career, you received a pay raise and three more years after turning 38.

Mike Mussina: 5.15 ERA in 27 starts and 28 appearances overall. Despite posting solid numbers in 2006, your career has been downhill after 2003. The Yankees still have you at one year for $11 million.

Carl Pavano: You were the Opening Day starter by default this season after missing all of 2006. After getting hurt and needing Tommy John Surgery, you are being fussy regarding accepting a release and a minor-league contract. Pavano, the Yankees owe you nothing. You have no right to hold up anything.

Kyle Farnsworth: 48 strikeouts and 27 walks in 60 innings pitched. You will make $5.5 million this year and have proven to be unreliable in your time in New York.

Brian Bruney: 37 walks in 50 innings pitched. You complained after being sent down to the Minors. You're lucky the Yankees decided to tender you a contract. You better change your act.

Wilson Betemit: You were already unpopular with me after coming here in the Scott Proctor trade. Your play on the field didn't make me feel any better about you. 33 strikeouts compared to six walks later, you're still useless.

Jorge Posada: You had the best season of your career in a contract year. You are making $13.1 million each year until you turn 40. You have played in 131 games behind the plate every season since 2000. You better not break down.

Jason Giambi: 254 at-bats and 14 home runs got you paid $21 million. Not bad. You will get paid the same amount this season, and the production will probably be just as poor.

Canadian Soldiers: Thanks, jerks!

Next are the Festivus miracles:

Alex Rodriguez: When you opted out of your contract during the fourth game of the World Series, all of New York thought you were a goner. I'll admit that I deleted all of my pictures of you on my computer out of anger. Later, it came out that your agent told you that the Yankees didn't want you back, and you obliged. You took matters into your own hands to return to the Yankees, and we welcome you back with open arms.

Joe Girardi: Picking you over Don Mattingly was one of the best decisions of the off-season. You were Scott Proctor's Arm's choice for manager, so we were obviously thrilled you were chosen to manage the team.

On to the Feats of Strength:

The American League East should be another battle between the Yankees and the World Champion Boston Red Sox. The lineups for both teams are pretty much the same as of now, and the Yankees rotation should improve with the addition of the Big Three. The two teams will meet in Boston for the final series of the regular season. This could determine who wins the East.


That's it for me. Have a Happy Festivus all! And have a happy and healthy holiday season.

This has been a great year of blogging for me. Since May 26, I have posted over 600 times and have recorded over 53,000 hits. This has been a lot of fun for me, and I truly appreciate everyone who takes time out of their day to read what I have to say.

Here's to another great year of Yankees baseball, and hopefully we can win that elusive 27th title in 2008.

And now, from YouTube, the real Festivus celebration from Seinfeld.



Here is the Mets version of Festivus, from my pal Andrew Vazzano over at The 'Ropolitans.